2010s- A lost decade

Age 49, Dude

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2010s- A lost decade

Posted by S3C - January 1st, 2020

Since I've returned from my 'hiatus' in mid-December I've been attempting to conjure-up a poetic, elaborate, unavoidably cringeworthy in retrospect, biopic grand finale of a newspost for the 2010s but my ideas are increasingly fragmented and fleeting, like trying to recover lost patterns in sand beneath the shore. That won't be happening with this newspost. I believe reaching potential can be attributed to 10% circumstance (the financial and social situations one is born into, IQ/cerebral anatomy & physiology/natural talent, and the stochastic processes that propel our f*cked up world), 50% hard work, and 40% faith/inspiration/ability to tune out the noise. These factors have some degree of overlapping effect, and my bullsh*t detector (serving as noise-cancelling headphones) is at 5%. What I'm trying to state in a needlessly elaborate and muddled matter is: this newspost will not near its potential.

summary of 00s: despondent, ruing lost opportunities, exploring

summary of 10s: despondent, ruing lost opportunities, exploring

What I can say that is different, I've grown more sensitive and thin-skinned. 4chan-types and edginess was where it was at back in the day, now I'm an SJW atoning for past sins. On the norm I'd presume the opposite happens with age. Speaking of which, I wrote a lot of hella insensitive and embarrassing stuff back in the day; independent of intention, still insensitive and embarrassing. And while I get comfort in berating myself and the stuff I make, there's several poetic nuggets and quotables to be found among the rubble/cacophony.

NewGrounds remains my sole artistic outlet: yet the majority of my work, both written and audible, remains unpublished (on this website). The majority of my work is unfinished or hasn't approached its potential imo, hence its segregation in private, local hard-drive space. Collectively, infinitesimal value lost for NewGrounds and the Interwebs, but I'd like that to change purely for personal reasons. (Of course any feedback/listens/attentions is sincerely appreciated as always.) I think it would be fun and relieving to reflect and let go of any unfinished business of the 2010s, and prior to that.

my entire adult life has been enveloped in existential dread (a consequence of circumstance: coming from an overly-privileged life), and despite having decades of empirical proof that sh*t doesn't and won't get better, I still reserve a tiny portion of headspace for hope, as there are plenty of beautiful gems old and waiting to be discovered, in the form of science, art, good food, sexual energy, and most of all cherishable moments.

Here's to the wonders that await us in the 20s

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S3C 2020-01-01 01:44:07

hehe, of course I got autoplay working again, the ultimate question is, how much iterations of badly written instructions to myself will it take for me to do it with ease

Cyberdevil 2020-01-01 09:30:08

The sensitive sentence started good! But thin-skinned hmm, how that go... I'm all about justice, and warriors, and social justice, but SJW... that term seems to have been put to mis-use in recent years. SJWs seem to be fighting for a politically correct world that benefits the minorities over the masses, avenging earlier acts of injustice with turn-around terrorization. Being the reason there's place at all for groups with slogans like 'white lives matter too'. I'm at one with the cause of equality and fairness for all, but I dislike this trend... I see it as the reason things went as awry as they did with Tumblr, and YouTube, and why there even has to be a policy regarding the preservation of political tweets on Twitter, while at the same time you'll get banned for life if you say Bruce Jenner, no matter the context. At first impression it seems as if society as a whole is getting thin-skinned too, but I don't think that's it. Sensitivity's good. Being in tune with yourself and your emotions and feeling empathy for those who have it worse off is what separates us from the beasts and gives us a way to appreciate, but there's just something else at work here, some kind of minority warfare. Jealousy? Greed? What's the fuel? Is it simply good convictions turned bad? It's all twisted somehow. There seems to be so much more sensitivity yet all the same so much less understanding.

Anyway as for that large body of unpublished work I hope you have backups! :O And that some of it does reach our ears eventually. It's the same here. I share a lot of these sentiments and hey, there is hope even here, on this always as contemplative; decade-promoting post! :D May the shift to all good things eventually make it even over there on your side of the world and all. Happy New Beginnings!

Great grooves as always too. Also autoplay commitment. Question: is there a way to autoloop too?

S3C 2020-01-01 09:30:08

Well, I'm being a bit jocular when I self-identify as SJW. I'm not one for being zealous to any label/group pertaining to social or political issues. I loathe movements of cancel-culture and victimization, but I'm aware of what side of the playing field my biases now gravitate towards. There certainly are areas where heterosexual white males (per your example) are being marginalized, however on principle these counter-slogans exist as mockery of actual social justice issues and rarely if ever are formed with good intention. At best its due to a selective understanding of a complex problem; at worst due to sense of superiority and entitlement.

but there's an active #brucejenner tag with plenty of Bruce Jenner and transphobic remarks...oh cool I just learned that he was drafted by the NBA

Sensitivity is good yes, but selfishly, I wish wasn't, as such feelings have become a severe distraction to my productivity and ability to enjoy life.

Cheers! I skate on thin ice when it comes to digital files, I'm very conservative about my HD space and try to store what I can on Google's cloud. Though I've made the mistake of USB storage several times...a very fickle medium that has somehow been less reliable than 3.5' floppy disks for me...

hmm...good question, I'm pretty sure it's possible but I've never thought about doing it. Will try next round.

Cyberdevil 2020-01-03 07:49:23

I don't believe I agree with the 'rarely if ever are formed with good intention', these days it seems like a lot of people within mainstream groups are bullied by their minority counterparts to the point it almost becomes a necessity. They group together in response. They get aggressive back, sometimes. I suppose it largely depends on where you live and who you interact with, and thus those born into an upper class/race-related superiority probably don't always come in contact with aggressive minorities at all. Ironically the ones to blame for the injustice and oppression these groups lash out against are probably not the ones falling victim to their conflict, but more so innocent bystanders. But sure, I agree there really are real social issues that shouldn't be trivialized, it's just that certain minority groups are making it easy to. You don't really see the victim as a victim when they start becoming the culprit. It's a bit like terrorism, with how a vocal minority so easily casts a shadow on the entire race/nation to which they belong, and we get all these negative and false stereotypes that further fuel our disagreances...

Oh interesting. Might need to check my facts, all I know is SOMEONE was instantly deplatformed for saying the wrong thing. Joe Rogan podcasts I been listening to... maybe only relevant for high profile users. Or it really was merited.

On the flipside it seems sensitivity might be necessary to fully enjoy life, too, if only you have more positive things to be sensitive about?

I signed up for a lifetime plan at pcloud.com myself recently, enough space for pretty much everything important. :) Short of video and all that jazz, which I hope doesn't become a problem if YT start purging unprofitable accounts (I've used them to just backup all my non-personal stuff - stored as private). Google cloud's somewhat limited no? Or paid subscription? Was using mega.nz for a while (50GB x multiple accounts) but it's so much easier if you don't have to worry about files disappearing if you don't login every 6 months or so, and everything in the same place. Plus they seem a bit easier to trust. If you ever consider getting something on pcloud feel free to send a message - affiliate links available (of course you could always create an affiliate account yourself too). They had some real good offers back on Black Friday, 75-80% everything.

Do you maybe have your HDs on some some kind of vibrating surface? I have *knock on wood* pretty much never had one break down on me, maybe 2-3 of ca 20-30 so far. Maybe the climate's better. Not so warm/humid.

Interesting.

S3C 2020-01-03 07:49:23

"with how a vocal minority so easily casts a shadow on the entire race/nation to which they belong, and we get all these negative and false stereotypes that further fuel our disagreances..."

this is precisely my point, as 'counter-slogan' groups use the vocal minority to justify being dismissive of an overall cause. I say rare, because I've yet to encounter such a coalition where their focus is on their perceived injustice, and not throwing the other side under the bus.

Joe Rogan = based
also wasn't disagreeing with your general sentiment there, Twitter is notorious for unfairly and disproportionately suspending users with extreme right wing stances.

when I think of sensitivity, the connotation here is being receptive to potentially hurtful things

15 GB per account, but there's no limit on the amount of the accounts AFAIK. So what is PCloud? are you using some service that automatically syncs local HD files to online storage?

I have never had any built-in HDs break either, recently had to clear one that had content from the early 90s, it's the USB drives that are unreliable.

Cyberdevil 2020-01-03 07:57:53

Btw I don't mean to imply you yourself are born into an upper class/race-related superiority! Just struck me that these groups are really blowing off steam on the wrong people. Hope people all calm down a bit and this doesn't really turn into a social divide anyhow. it's always the minority causing trouble, used to be the mainstream minority, now the minority minority hmm.

S3C 2020-01-03 07:57:53

you wouldn't be wrong though

Cyberdevil 2020-01-03 17:45:54

Mmm, that's true. Even the groups I see groups so desperately react too are most likely also vocal minorities. Fair point.

No doubt, I've been learning so much via his show I suppose I've stopped fully distinguishing all fact from all the other stuff. Been listening to a lot of his stuff too? Most reason one (i heard) was a lot of fun: https://youtu.be/Np0jGp6442A

...been testing his deep-breathing techniques a bit and they seem pretty interesting. Similar to what some divers practice before deep dives as to cope with the added pressure.

Ah, yes, the ideal would be sensitive thick-skin. A conflicting trait.

Ah you have multiple accounts with them for that? pcloud.com, a file-hosting solution like many, based in Switzerland, offering free accounts too but also lifetime accounts (I know it's a gamble - hopefully worth it) up to 2TB. They seem to have good encryption, a very lightweight filemanager, options to share files and all the normal stuff but also actually host your websites there, or use them as a CDN, via their public folder. No domain settings or such, but if I happen to need additional bandwidth for heavier files this might be real handy, could store entire image directories within that same user-specific public directory path..

They do have a sync client too but I haven't started with that, I don't really trust them with everything yet. Also hardware/connection limits. So far I'm just dragging over certain selections of files best kept copied somewhere, and so far it's been great! All that most important stuff safe and plenty of space remaining. :)

Maybe you move them before they've powered down entirely? When the needle's spinning it feels like they're pretty susceptible to damage. Maybe you've had some unfortunate bad quality builds, though. I'm running a lot of these. Lately mostly internal HDs via docking station though, so much easier to switch and clone.

S3C 2020-01-03 17:45:54

ever used DropBox?
trust them with what, you are already uploading files there
that could be it, with my last USB a lot of the files one day got truncated to 16 kb- a shame as as a lot of them where music files I made on a different computer and have no backup of. But some online searching suggests this is a common problem, and USB is meant for transfer, not storage.

Cyberdevil 2020-01-03 17:53:22

You're not both rich AND white though are you? ;) Just partial upper class/race-related elitism then. But either way, it'd be worse to be born at the bottom of it all. Less potential to do good without the right resources. Maybe more potential to actually rise to the challenge when you have nothing to lose, but still, no favors for the wicked. These days being overly privileged might be the new underdog circumstance when you really have to prove your worth to get places, expectations high both from those who expect great things of you and from those who expect you to abuse the power you might've been granted by birth and constantly challenge you with wrongful stereotype.

^ wasn't perfectly formulated, but what I mean is basically: we're more than our circumstances. I

S3C 2020-01-03 17:53:22

the answer is no but yes to both questions.
I myself am not rich, I don't make a lot of money and I have less material possessions than most. But I was born into a relatively affluent family which has made my living a lot easier.
I have some European blood and (could) pass for white. I'm fairly light skinned. 'White with a little spice' is the race at first glance, I'd presume. I've lived in mostly multicultural and ethnic places. The worst discrimination I've faced, and this is conjecture, is going through additional screening at the airport because my racial ambiguity may present as middle-eastern.

Of course, being privileged is always better than being born at the bottom of it all. No problem or pain felt should be minimized, but I'm thankful everyday that my worst problems concern existential dread among other menial things, and not poverty, disease, violence (knock on wood). Yes we are more than circumstance- from the opening of this newspost: 10% circumstance, 50% hard work, 40% faith & inspiration.

Cyberdevil 2020-01-03 17:59:45

...'m dropping typos and leftover letters all over the place lately aaaaaa! Must be bedtime. In regard to file-hosting though, if you're ever pondering paid alternatives but not lifetime, then OneDrive is by far the most resourceful. A full 8TB storage with a group account, and cheaper than most others too.

In regard to free ones I believe mega.nz is still the most generous, but a lot of them are catching up. Tons of alternatives out there. I don't really like the idea of cloud-hosting overall, but with two-factor and good encryption... maybe it's alright.Nothing's really safe. Not material stuff either.

S3C 2020-01-03 17:59:45

oh yes OneDrive is a good option too. Microsoft/Azure is 2nd in cloud services behind Amazon and I believe will surpass them eventually as they are more user and enterprise friendly.

Cyberdevil 2020-01-05 09:38:49

I have tried Dropbox too, though pretty limited space there. Wouldn't really trust any service with my most private stuff unless it at least has end-to-end encryption (which pcloud does) but still... you need to trust the service to actually have a perfect system. No bugs. No leaks. That they also really provide the service they promise and don't just host a giant honeypot, or say stuff's encrypted even if it's not. I'm pretty paranoid about all cloud-related hosts in that regard, I mean it's on the cloud, far away, what out of my control should they do anything with that data...

Oh damn, did we speak about that music crash before? That sucks. :/ So would other protocols work better for this stuff in particular? Firewire, lightning, eSATA...? Seems like the connection shouldn't be at fault, more so the HD, but if the corruption occurs during transfer... you can't really plug and play with internal drives the same way either. But power failure: still a problem. Wonder if Windows 10 has some new failsafe for this type of stuff...

Nice way to phrase that ethnical blend. :D Mmm I'll fortunately probably never have a problem with airports, as long as stereotypes don't drastically change and for some reason white people get labeled the new radicals... I'd say I'm of a pretty middle class family myself, though we've always mingled with upper ones abroad. Back in Sweden now the financial situation doesn't really allow for the lifestyle we've learned. Smaller spaces, cheaper foods, albeit a lot of that home-grown gold every summer... still on the upper end of privileged I suppose. Life's relatively leisurely. Can't complain. Also still eating fresh potatoes way after Christmas. :) Twas a good harvest with those.

Hell yeah. :) Hard work and motivation's a viable cycle too, a self-fueling catalyst for circumstantial transformation.

In regard to B2 storage there's one more player worth a mention: https://www.backblaze.com/b2/cloud-storage.html

...not as big as the aforementioned two, but serious competition! I've considered them for home backups as well, but the thing that kept me away is having to plug in your computer every month or so lest you lose all the data. You can back up unlimited quotas but it has to be constantly connected and checked to be classed as 'regular backup'. Their B2 solution would be good for long time cold storage, thought about that too, but now that I'm with pcloud I think I have all this covered. If they're there for life it'll be way more cost-efficient than all these other alternatives, plus no extra time spent worrying about login times or different accounts. Built-in backup from Dropbox and Google Drive too if I need those. ;) Been reading up on backup alternatives so long now, feels good to finally settle for something. Was seriously considering MediaFire back in the day too, and ALMOST bought a lifetime MU account just before they were raided. Hope nothing like that ever happens again, in a way it felt like the end of an era (and though file-hosting piracy is still as prevalent as ever that stigma seems to have disappeared a bit, maybe because everyone recognizes their legal use areas too now, everyone wants cloud everything)...

Cyberdevil 2020-01-05 10:23:54

Oh btw I should've clarified, in regard to the USB issues/moving drives: I meant more in the regard that if you unplug and move the drive while it's still spinning then the needle might damage the disc itself, not so much transfer corruption. Wasn't thinking of that option. Can see it happening for a specific file being transferred when you unplug, but it shouldn't corrupt an entire drive (Windows can fix bad sectors pretty well too).

S3C 2020-01-26 17:12:51

RIP Kobe
man 2020 is turning out to be a sh*t year

queefingwaterfalls 2020-02-12 04:42:00

It's funny, after so long away from Newgrounds I've come to realize how many great memories I have attached to this place. Sadly I unpublished my old projects and locked myself out of the account, but I did the art on "Caged Beast", and I'd almost completely forgotten about it until I came across it on your profile today. I was around 14 at the time we made it.
In life I always find it easier to look back with a sense dread. All the shit I fucked up! But we always grow, even when we have doubt. That's something that gives me faith to make art.
Ultimately, don't put too much pressure on yourself to publish or not to publish. Do what you feel is right

S3C 2020-02-12 04:42:00

thanks man!

also- morcov? I remember you. I'm a fan. I actually watched your YouTube videos- the gorilla on the lawn and how 2 pick up chicks were great

Homdell 2020-02-12 23:05:45

yea that might be true but have you seen buster Keaton's old movies and you can't believe that happened 100 years ago? boggles the mind

S3C 2020-02-12 23:05:45

i'm confused

Cyberdevil 2020-03-10 19:11:34

Buster Keaton was dope yo. Interesting comments popping up in this thread, and hey we had a convo going too huh...

How's life with the cornonavirus over there these days? Paranoia as high in the US s it is over here? Have flights booked to Poland and Lithuania in a week and a few but really starting to ponder if I should take any chances...

Then again so is being on the subway every day.

S3C 2020-03-10 19:11:34

Sure is, my alma matter/old work had the second case of corona virus in the US, an international student from China returning from winter break. Costco (a bulk item store in the US) ran out of bottled water somehow and local grocers are limiting the amount of milk you can buy. I haven't personally witnessed any of the hysterics but it's certainly having a noticeable negative affect on the economy.

Just drink fluids, eat greens, get sleep, and exercise and you should be OK

Cyberdevil 2020-03-11 07:24:31

Hoooly shit. Did you happen to be around them at the time? Incubation period's probably over now though I guess? Man it seems like paranoia is way heavier over there then. We haven't run into any food scarcities yet, though people are definitely stockpiling, and it feels like there isn't as much stuff on sale as there usually is...

I'm on it. Lotsa vitamins too. Kinda worried about bringing home covid to my parents though if I do try a trip, they aren't as young and recoverable...

S3C 2020-03-11 07:24:31

Probably not, this was early in the spread so no special procedures were followed. I think they cancelled some sporting events. Some colleges are moving classwork entirely online now though

S3C 2020-03-11 22:09:43

@Cyberdevil

EDIT: Tom Hanks has coronavirus and the NBA is suspended as a player has it, I'm officially a little concerned...

Cyberdevil 2020-03-12 07:12:14

Hmm yeah it's really spreading... death tolls still aren't anywhere near the numbers of a regular seasonal flu, but the ease with which it seems to be spreading...

S3C 2020-03-12 07:12:14

where's @VicariousE when you need him

Cyberdevil 2020-03-12 07:13:07

Feels like maybe the biggest problem is the limited amount of room in hospitals, respirators etc. Not good if everyone gets sick at the same time.

S3C 2020-03-12 07:13:07

EDIT: Since my last posting, toilet paper is gone from the shelves statewide (I knew being a wipeless sh!tter would come in handy), alma matter has gone online, with work likely to follow suit...

Cyberdevil 2020-03-14 15:29:33

You've been off work up till now? Lucky you man. Over here I notice the trains are getting emptier and emptier, and indeed toilet paper's in short supply, but not gone. It's pretty surreal shopping and seeing entire shelfs of select products just suddenly empty, when overall it's just business as usual. Good time to own a shop.

Was speaking to him just the other day btw, don't think he's so far away!

S3C 2020-03-14 15:29:33

EDIT: Paper towels, bottled war, many canned soups and beans, adult diapers (wtf), most dog food, gone! At least the gluten free food is still around *knock on wood* hehe...

VicariousE 2020-03-14 19:21:10

RIP

Cyberdevil 2020-03-15 06:27:27

Adult diapers in lack of toilet paper? Desperate times call for desperate measures. Best stockpile some of that gluten-free stuff while you have it huh. :P

S3C 2020-03-15 06:27:27

EDIT: Mass WFH has commenced, strong recommendation for group size is 50, encouraged now more than 10. Working hours are now staggered throughout the day so less contact people. Hope I get to work evening shifts...

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