Since I've returned from my 'hiatus' in mid-December I've been attempting to conjure-up a poetic, elaborate, unavoidably cringeworthy in retrospect, biopic grand finale of a newspost for the 2010s but my ideas are increasingly fragmented and fleeting, like trying to recover lost patterns in sand beneath the shore. That won't be happening with this newspost. I believe reaching potential can be attributed to 10% circumstance (the financial and social situations one is born into, IQ/cerebral anatomy & physiology/natural talent, and the stochastic processes that propel our f*cked up world), 50% hard work, and 40% faith/inspiration/ability to tune out the noise. These factors have some degree of overlapping effect, and my bullsh*t detector (serving as noise-cancelling headphones) is at 5%. What I'm trying to state in a needlessly elaborate and muddled matter is: this newspost will not near its potential.
summary of 00s: despondent, ruing lost opportunities, exploring
summary of 10s: despondent, ruing lost opportunities, exploring
What I can say that is different, I've grown more sensitive and thin-skinned. 4chan-types and edginess was where it was at back in the day, now I'm an SJW atoning for past sins. On the norm I'd presume the opposite happens with age. Speaking of which, I wrote a lot of hella insensitive and embarrassing stuff back in the day; independent of intention, still insensitive and embarrassing. And while I get comfort in berating myself and the stuff I make, there's several poetic nuggets and quotables to be found among the rubble/cacophony.
NewGrounds remains my sole artistic outlet: yet the majority of my work, both written and audible, remains unpublished (on this website). The majority of my work is unfinished or hasn't approached its potential imo, hence its segregation in private, local hard-drive space. Collectively, infinitesimal value lost for NewGrounds and the Interwebs, but I'd like that to change purely for personal reasons. (Of course any feedback/listens/attentions is sincerely appreciated as always.) I think it would be fun and relieving to reflect and let go of any unfinished business of the 2010s, and prior to that.
my entire adult life has been enveloped in existential dread (a consequence of circumstance: coming from an overly-privileged life), and despite having decades of empirical proof that sh*t doesn't and won't get better, I still reserve a tiny portion of headspace for hope, as there are plenty of beautiful gems old and waiting to be discovered, in the form of science, art, good food, sexual energy, and most of all cherishable moments.
Here's to the wonders that await us in the 20s.