Halfway in reference to title I meant, new year but not not new you... yet? Man that sounds like a depressing low... indeed you cannot go back, but just gotta keep pushing forwards. I've felt the same way but maybe I haven't really reached the age where such futility truly presents itself, or been quite as low... or maybe things got better again and I don't really remember how hopeless it once was... at your lowest points you have the potential to rise the highest, anyway. And it can only get brighter after that... or so they say. In a lot of those games it just keeps getting better the more discs you burn too, and even when they're all over... it doesn't really end there. Not in your mind. Not in the real-world metaphor: whatever might be after.
As for feeling like there's no spice and meaning to anything... maybe trying new things would be the best way to revive that curiosity. Doing unexpected or interesting things, no matter how minuscule. Trying to see the norms in a new light. Breaking down habit; routine; getting out of your comfort zone a bit whenever possible. I mean like: just start talking to a random stranger. See the sun rays play in an early morning haze. Run until you just can't run anymore. Try creative culinary treats, meditate, volunteer somewhere, podcast, whatever works...
Speaking of the club or pub scene in Europe: it seems to be OK in the UK, but here in Sweden either non-existent or just overly flashy and superficial. As far as I'm concerned it's just no world for me. Prefer hanging out in the wild, close to the Earth; far away from and yet closer to real people... lately feel like I could easily spark up conversations with strangers on a train, or bench, or bus, or whichever places I stumble through... haven't started being so forward yet but the prospect of new encounters keeps the curiosity alive, ya know? Maybe you just need some more manganese and sulfur to boost dopamine levels a little. Or some other mineral. Do a check-up and boost the body.
Also fo rizzle regarding those tetra masts. Gotta find some zones without coverage sometimes. Disconnect. Ground yourself. It's a cancerous air these days..
Cyberdevil
Aw well, it's a New Year at least, halfway there. :P
Deep pockets in them tunes... though surely the nightmares will fade when the darkness clears and the eternal dawn arrives! I mean like: the ultimate perspective. That boundless optimism we all strive to reach. Or I. But eye the world and perspectives change, each year a step towards those realizations that just might break the rut... I believe there's such an age for all! Dream on! Keep fighting! WOO YEAH! NEW YEAR RESOLVE AND ENERGY!!!!
Very poetically phrased perspective though, in a way ain't that we all do, but still the more we run: the stronger we get. So each year this is: the strongest you yet.
S3C
nope, July 1st will be halfway there
i feel like this may be the weakest me yet. The derivative of my life < 0