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    35 Art Reviews w/ Response

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    now introducing the cat apple!! putting crab apples out of business since 2016.

    Austerity responds:

    Cat apples eat crab apples for breakfast.

    what is this a cake for ants!!

    Cyberdevil responds:

    A cake for.. Ant-Man?

    Brrrr!! I hope you like freeze dried apples.

    Austerity responds:

    Fresh of freeze dried, love them all.

    "Oh it's so cute", said Winnie the Pooh as he tried petting the adorable apple bee. Legend has it, that this is the moment that put an end to Winnie's honey addiction and overeating disorder. Unfortunately, he turned to opiates (as is commonplace in the latter careers of many celebrities that entertain a young audience) and was subsequently dropped from the Disney network. He was later arrested for aggravated assault against Christopher Robin and this may possibly be the origin of bears violent nature towards humans. The story of One Hundred Acre Wood has somewhat of a good ending, though. Winnie went through rehab, Christopher Robin schizotypal personality was diagnosed early and sufficiently treated, Piglet was prescribed Xanax, and Eeyore finally got laid and was no longer depressed. They all became restaurant entrepreneurs and opened up the successful AppleBees franchise were you can find Winnie's world famous honey pepper sauce. Yummm.

    Austerity responds:

    All true. Gotta try that honey pepper sauce sometime.

    This apple has a hypervolume quantity. Apples within apples. Never seen before textures, colors, and flavors. Of course, these aspects are indescribable to mere humans with a rather pedestrian and limited sense of 3 spatial dimensions.

    Austerity responds:

    Indeed, this apple is best understood with alien senses that are beyond the human experience.

    Captain Hook can confirm this legend. He took a corer right to his eyeball. I heard it was a tasty apple, though.

    Austerity responds:

    Blame it on Tinkerbell.

    *gasps* if it's not the legendary ghost apple, shining brighter than the moon in a desolate field in the middle of nowhere. Legend has it, that anyone who makes eye contact with the ghost apple retain the same expression of horror from the instance of their sighting. My advice, if you think you saw the ghost apple, turn the other way and DO NOT LOOK BACK. And always keep your eyes peeled for the trumpet tooting spooky scary skeleton.

    Austerity responds:

    Wish I had seen your advice earlier because the Ghost Apple killed me right before I read it.

    Deceptively simple on the surface; but I can somewhat see the hidden geometrical message behind this grandiose piece. How many rectangles, I wonder?? Legend has it that those who uncover the secret tessellation are hunted down by the Illuminati (and never heard from again)

    Austerity responds:

    Rectangles are the true symbol of the Illuminati, the triangles are just out there to throw off the unwashed masses.

    This work of art contains a heavy dose of nostalgia for sure. I guess you could say this artwork here is the closet technology you will find to a time machine back to better times. Pixellated perfection; I especially like the subtle pink pinstripes on the celestial apple (a rare item, I suppose).

    Austerity responds:

    I considered a time traveling set of apples at one point.

    *takes out magnifying glass* yep, it's pure gold.

    Austerity responds:

    I had to use the book called Identifying Gold by R. Bruce Hoadley to verify it. Your skills are greater than mine.

    Age 49, Dude

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